When
is the Right Time to Go into Therapy? |
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When
you’re in crisis, the answer is obvious—it’s time to get help. But at other times, the decision
is not so simple. “Sure, I know I could probably benefit from it, but I
don’t know if I need
psychotherapy. There are lots of people who have it much worse off than
me, right?” |
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This
kind of indecisiveness and discounting of feelings is one reason to call a
psychotherapist. When you
begin to get lost in obsessive or unproductive thoughts, and when you
begin to feel that time is slipping away, you may experience a quiet,
almost unnoticed sense of loss.
Over time, what was at first a few melancholy Mondays can turn into
much more. This gradual
erosion of your hope and outlook on life lowers your self-esteem and
decreases your motivation.
You may tell yourself, “Well, things aren’t that bad,” denying the opportunity
to explore these issues with a psychotherapist. You may feel you don't deserve to
invest in yourself or maybe you should be able to solve your problems on
your own. |
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Depression
and anxiety can be quite subtle.
We don’t always understand how we dismiss our own pain or
disappointments. With the
help of a competent psychotherapist, you’ll be able to recognize thoughts,
emotions and behaviors that are holding you back. Psychotherapy helps you become
more compassionate for yourself and others resulting in deeper connections
and more authentic relationships.
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Here
are some examples of blind
spots that my clients here in |
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·
Low
self-esteem (“I shouldn’t complain.
Lots of people have it worse than I
do.”) |
·
Insomnia
(“I’ve always been a night owl.”) |
·
Hypersomnia
(“I guess I do nap a lot.
Maybe I’m just lazy.”) |
·
Rage
(“Am I the only one who knows how
to drive in this town???”) |
·
Criticism
of others (“I was just joking.
Why are you so over-sensitive?”) |
·
Criticism
of self (“I’m such an idiot!”) |
·
Addictions
(“If you had the week I’ve had…”) |
·
Isolation
(“I’m a homebody, that’s all.”) |
·
Excessive
worry (“If I worry about it, it won’t
happen.”) |
·
Hopelessness
(“I guess I’m fated to never find my soul
mate.”) |
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If
you're not sure whether it's time to begin psychotherapy, you may ask
questions of a
psychotherapist without commitment.
Feel free to discuss your concerns (e.g. how long therapy
will take, how much it will cost, how you will know if psychotherapy is
working, how the psychotherapist will know what you need). Then you can make an informed
decision about whether the time is right for you to work with a
psychotherapist. |
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When
is the right time to go into therapy? Only you can answer that question.
But now is the time to consider how you would like to design this next
chapter of your life, and psychotherapy is one way to explore the future
while working through the past. |
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John Chebultz, M.A. (July 2006). |